A few days after the election resulting in an LNP victory…

A jubilant Tony Abbott, calls Scott Morrison, now the Immigration Minister into his office.

“It’s Time! We must stop the boats!”

“Tony. It’s my first day in the new job and I’m still learning the ropes. There’s been problems with the operational requirements. Hold on while I give you a one-page presentation…”

1. Only 7 out of 300 asylum seeker boats were successfully turned back.
2. Rest were scuttled, sunk, shipwrecked, abandoned, set on fire, ran out of fuel or occupants asked for rescue.
3. Boarding unseaworthy boats puts our naval and border protection personnel in harms way. And  the boats’ crew and asylum seekers (illegals) themselves.
4. Towing back unseaworthy boats may result in more sinkings and drownings.
5. Any boat that sinks near our patrols must be rescued under international law.
6. Towbacks haven’t been agreed to by the Indonesian Government.
7. Towbacks may be illegal under international law even if Indonesia agrees.
8. Towbacks may be illegal under Australian law (See successful High Court challenge to the Malaysian solution).
9. Once asylum seekers (illegals) identify themselves as such Australia is obligated to give them shelter under international law.

Listening to this imagined conversation, I don’t think Scott Morrison knows how to stop the boats. If he had a plan he would have told us by now.

However I do have a suggestion. As a former Managing Director of Tourism Australia and successful tourism marketeer, Scott Morrison is in an ideal position to stop the boats at the source.

He could create a campaign to deter asylum seekers from coming to Australia combining his existing tourism successes.

In summary it would be:

Q:Where the Bloody Hell Are You?

A:100% New Zealand!