Starved beyond silence
Bang. Bang. “Just a second.” I was still between that half-life that is sleep and wakefulness. Through my half-lidded eyes I saw shadows moving up and down. At the end of the bed. To the same rhythm as the noise. Bang-Bang-Bang. Through my half-opened eyes, I sat up. And saw him. Dark framed in a…
My Username Change
“Hi, I’m calling you back regarding your new username.” “Why thank you,” she trilled. “I’ve changed it from your old surname to your new one.” It was then I chose to become extra customer focussed. “Congratulations! When was the big day?” Silence. One second. Two seconds. Three seconds. I’m out here. “It’s already passed,” she…
Revenge is not my Style
“I am the former dictator of Nigeria…” Really? No one ever titles themselves a dictator. President for Life, maybe Generalissimo, even Dear Leader. Never dictator. Although last week’s email said former Nigerian prince. “And I need your most urgent help…” Always. “With my impending demise from terminal cancer…” How about heart disease or even old…
Spiders in Space
Part of my domestic duties as a father involved spacing spiders. Not Daddy-Long-Legs. In time I learned they were harmless (they were a deterrent to other spiders). Like Jupiter and most comets. So left them to orbit just as they pleased
It’s been at least another fifty years, how many now, in truth, I’ve lost count. Nowadays each anniversary starts the same way. Someone gently shakes me awake. All becomes white. At their words, I nod in answer, although sometimes I shake my head just to be perverse. But it is all the same now. I…
Jam, Daddy? First he coiled his wrist around the lid.
“Ha! You’re dead. And I’m not. And that is my final word to you,” said Scrooge.
Read this first
Don’t open that suitcase. Read this first. You’re probably wondering where I am. And what the hell is going on. And whether you should open that door. Maybe you’re crouched heart in a ball. Your fingers clenching, closing tight , unclenching then relaxing.Which was what I saw you first across the crowded (Zoom) room. Cliched…
Prepare the invasion fleet. Black space sparkled, gleamed and glistened as our ships came to life. Sleeping soldiers woke, stretched, uncoiled their tendrils, weapons at the ready. I sighed and shook my head.
Again. I drew my hand close, splayed my fingers wide and pressed down hard. On my shoulder. I pivoted and turned left, facing the scorers. “Short run, ” I intoned, making sure my voice carried off field.
“Comrade Colonel Stanislaw Petrov had to go. KAL007 had been shot down. NATO began Exercise Able Archer. We thought it was the end.
My fingers close around the remote. One finger starts…And before I reach the on button, it happens. Her voice is in my ear. Thick as honey, she begins…