Revenge is not my Style

“I am the former dictator of Nigeria…”

Really? No one ever titles themselves a dictator.

President for Life, maybe Generalissimo, even Dear Leader. Never dictator.

Although last week’s email said former Nigerian prince.

black laptop computer
Photo by Stephen Phillips – on Unsplash

“And I need your most urgent help…”


“With my impending demise from terminal cancer…”

How about heart disease or  even old age?

“I need your assistance to relocate my fortune (US$200 million) overseas before the Government impounds it….”

My problem exactly. Although I only have (US$20000).

“Please forward to me your full name, mobile, occupation to my legal representatives, Key Lagos Lawyers.”

Which of course I do.  I send the burner number. And the generic email.

person holding white samsung galaxys 4
Photo by Lindsey LaMont on Unsplash

One week passes…

The email from Lawyers of Lagos arrives.

“Dear Andrew, I bear sad news. The former Nigerian dictator passed away.”

They always die within the week. Who knew a quick email reply would be such a shock?

“Consequently you are the sole beneficiary of his estate.”


“Immediately send US$10,000 to facilitate the legal transactions required to Bank of Los Lagos, branch and account number supplied.”

100 us dollar bill
Photo by Blogging Guide on Unsplash

Blatant bribery. But now I have all the information I need. I compose and send my email.

“Please re-enter your bank account details…”

One week passes…

From Los Lagos Bank, “You are now the proper authorised person for this bank account.”

They clicked.

You might be thinking I’m a scammer too. Or that I want revenge. But that’s not my style.

All I want is mere world domination. One scammer at a time.

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