Right now so much is uncertain in my life.
An uncertain walk
I’m uncertain about my home, my income, my career, my next job, etc, etc. And it’s not all hopeless!
And as a professional worrier, I work through all the known possibilities. Then I am left with a range of outcomes from awful to mediocre at best.
Even in that least I know what I can do and what I can’t do. I know what is certain and what is uncertain. Surprisingly that provides me with some comfort.
Then I say to myself: What can I do with this? What can I make happen?
And out of those questions amid the doubts and uncertainties come new ideas and possibilities. They may be small to practically invisible or uncertain to impossible but they are most certainly there.
And also out of those doubts and uncertainties emerge new lessons and challenges.
But what’s really most annoying in these circumstances, is the joy that keeps being sent to me. Snatches of music, funny random thoughts, strange conversations with strangers, hilarious emails, wise blogs, new jokes, family members reaching out to me, workmates asking me questions that I can answer, interviews for roles that I can more than fulfill, friends turning up out of nowhere,friends making peace with me and I with them, friends who need help and end up helping me, breaths of wind, the sound of the sea, the sunset, the list goes on and on…As I said in conversation, I get to choose.
Still behind the scenes, the uncertainty is increasing. But so is the certainty. I’m slowly finding out what is my acceptable level of uncertainty and certainty. It is not easy but it’s happening nevertheless. So I should start giving in to it. I’m choosing uncertainty within certainty and it will lead to a balance.
Flow
And in tandem what’s even more annoying is the joy. It is getting harder and harder to ignore. I know that this joy is leading me to do what is needed to grow those other possibilities. And find out yet again that serendipity goes from being annoying to providing new possibilities and opportunities as well. So I should start giving in to it.
Or as was advised to a friend, “You are wise, just be and do. It will be ok.”
Or it’s much like how Rumi puts it in his poem the Guest House, “He may be clearing you for some new delight.”
Serendipity is annoying.
