That’s Nobody’s Balloon


balloons (Photo credit: shellipsm)

It happened the other day. I’m shopping and I am filling my basket with fruit and vegetables.

I finish, go to the counter and am served. Then I bend down to pick up my basket.
There is a balloon attached to a stick in my basket! And there is no child nearby to take it back! This could be my lucky day!
But it was not to be. To my right is an empty pram, two children and two balloons. They may have one too many. Or a child is missing looking for the balloon. Or perhaps it belongs to the parent.
By now I’m holding a balloon while the shop assistant is sorting, weighing, pricing and packing my groceries. And she’s amused. She would like an explanation. I don’t have one. Well not an adult one anyway.
As I said to her if I had stolen the balloon I would have been asked for it back. But I wasn’t. So I stole back quietly and stuck it on the pram. Somewhere out there a happy parent is enjoying his or her balloon!! And yes I would have accepted it if it was given! It’s still fun to be an adult you know!

We Cannot Live Together Any More (To My Burglar)

I was burgled this week. After some thought, I’ve decided that the burglar and I cannot live together any more no way never ever.

Small change was borrowed and not returned. We haven’t been able to talk about this yet.

And a can opener and some men’s toiletries have disappeared. And I’m sensing a growing distance between us sadly.

Food also was taken from the pantry. I’m not sure if you will pay this back or buy me equivalent food. I’m still waiting on your word.

Some speakers and a cordless phone have been disappeared. Perhaps you’ve turned this into funds for as yet unspecified debts. But we’re not talking about this at all.

And I think that’s it I’m afraid.

If you do decide to come back, here are some suggestions.

If you do borrow things from me and not return them, do make sure that somebody else apart from you benefits. I can live with that actually.

Oh and about the food, I have vegetable seeds. Take them, plant them, grow them, keep some and give the surplus to the needy.

Men Shopping with Women : The Unwritten Taboo

And I had my successes and mainly failures. But I learnt lots.
Especially about shoes. I now know good quality from bad. I know what does and doesn’t work fashion wise. And still stumble and fall.
But unwittingly I stumbled on a taboo subject.
Men don’t talk about this. They do talk about shopping with their partner.
And complain. But my response to that was too different.
“I help my partner choose shoes and dresses”.
For some reason, the three men I’m talking to step back slowly, carefully as if I’ve turned radioactive.
Next subject.

Whatever You Do: Don’t Sit Down!

San Francisco: Fashion shop on Mission

San Francisco: Fashion shop on Mission (Photo credit: Franco Folini)

I don’t stand outside the dress or shoe shop when my partner enters. I follow her in. It is the option of least boredom. I feel quite silly hanging out like I’m loitering with intent or stalking or something.

But it has some advantages. One or two occasions I chose a dress or coat which was gleefully accepted and then bought by my partner. This for someone with little taste is a bonus.
But it can lead to trouble. This occasion none of the clothes in the shop fitted. Apparently my partner was inbetween sizes. Which I’ve never heard of nor had happen to me.
But something happened to me. After waiting at the back of this empty shop, I was becoming impatient. Then the other shop assistant, the most attractive one, decided to have a word to me. “You’ve been very patient”. And decided to sit down next to me. And start talking to me. After half an hour I didn’t mind at all.
But I then noticed new customers were entering the shop. And my new found friend didn’t really want to leave me. Which meant it was time for me to check in on my partner and see how she was going. Which I did. Next time I made sure I didn’t sit down.